How evil is Elmo? Part One
0 commentsWe all know that familiar, red fluff-ball of a creature named Elmo. As a matter of fact, most of us probably have very fond memories of learning the alphabet or something along those lines, all because of him/her/it. But, did you all know of....The dark side of Elmo???
"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone."
-Rod Serling(1948-1975)
Those exact words describe how I will show you how evil Elmo really is... You have just entered, the Twilight Zone...
This story will be described in first person, as I was there, and, I am telling the story.
It was a while ago. I mean, why would I still have dreams like that? Every night, when I fall asleep, it's always the same. In my dream, I am a news reporter. I always get as far as announcing the score of the Phillies game and then the ground ALWAYS starts to shake. But because my mind is slowish, I never realize I have just had the same dream until I well, wake up. As if the ground shaking isn't scary enough, the earth beneath my feet shatters and then I remember how much I hate the circus...
Surrounding me are clowns. Each one armed with their own "playful" make-up and miniature cars. But what freaks me out the most, and almost always makes me wet myself(JOKE,) is the fact Elmo, yes the one who sings about his goldfish, is their gruesome ringleader. It's not even that he looked scary though, it was his physical presence. I would always, and I mean always, I wake up before I get killed...By Elmo.
I told you about the dream because it is key to his- I mean, my, survival story.
About a morning after that same dream occured, I smelled something burning. Now because I was only half awake, I didn't bother and fell back asleep. As my eyes closed and soon re-opened to the circus, the devilish ringleader's face met mine.
"Hello, little boyyyyyyyyyy!" He said in a sing-song voice, for only a second disguising the bloodlust in his eyes.
"Elmo...." What was I supposed to say?
"You have been a very very BAD boy, Mr. Cameron!" The demonic ringleader twisted his head as he spoke.
I backed away. "What are you talking about?" I guess I never knew I was even dreaming.
The creature who has called himself my childhood friend lifted a fish bowl out of his bloody cloak. The fish inside, Swimmy I believe, was dead. Its cold body floating upside down. "This was your fault, Mr. Cameron! You must pay the price, you will!" With that, Elmo smashed his friends glass tomb on the ground and picked up, well, a piece of glass."Pay the price o' get Elmo a mocha!" The sing-song tone was replaced with that of a vicious creature.
I looked around. I was surrounded by the clowns and about to be killed by Elmo, Count of The Clowns. I backed away. Reality came to me, but I still wasn't awakeIf this was a dream, I thought, then I could do anything. "Here is your mocha!!!" I drew, out of thin air, two sub-machine guns, fully loaded.
"Dat ain't no mocha! It-" Before the psychotic muppet could finish, I began to unload my lead into his fur.
The creature began to scream. Suddenly, the environment changed. It was only me and him/her/it, Elmo facing the edge of a cliff, me in front of him.
With the final release of the piercing bullets, I walked over to my most hated puppet. "I hope you get lead poison!" I shot my foot out to meet his face. He fell. So did eye. What happened was, as I slammed my foot into his mouth, he/she/it clamped its jaws down, taking me down.
As we fell, the scene changed again. We stood, facing opposite to each other, on a large rock flowing down a stream of lave. Before I could do anything, Elmo drew...A lightsaber.
Yes, he did just grab one of those dangerous weapons from StarWars out of thin air. Did that mean he could control the dream. But so could eye.
VRROOOOOM!
Oh how I love the sound lightsabers make when they are turned on.
Elmo, seeing I was also armed, jumped at me. No...He flew! What the heck? Was he as fast as that unamable green midget from StarWars(Yoda,I think)? That didn't matter. As he came down with his lightsaber...Mine went right through his chest.
Light came to my eyes as I woke up. Just a dream, I thought.
But it wasn't. Because in front of me, was an army of Tickle-Me-Elmo's...Max version...
(To be continued)
